Hi Army Ever After readers! I am Mackenzie from Bell Bliss and I’m so excited that Elizabeth let me take over for the day. As a fellow military spouse, I have loved getting to know Elizabeth. I have been enjoying all of her posts about the fall season! Over at a Bell Bliss, I blog about everything. My husband and I recently (like as in last week) moved to Okinawa, Japan. Lately my posts have been about our experiences and new life here in Japan. I also blog about DIY, health, fashion, and whatever else I’m into at the moment. Stop by and join us on our adventure!
As military spouses, we are no strangers to separation. If you are not a military spouse, don’t go! This may apply to you, too. The separation is usually the hard part and the reunion is usually the best part! But what happens after the initial excitement of the reunion wears off? You pretty much start off at square one. After months of being on your own, you forget what it’s like to share a bed with someone. You forgot how to take care of someone beside yourself. You forgot what it’s like to consider someone else’s needs and daily schedule.
Now, I haven’t been through a deployment, so I am not an expert by any means. I have, however, been through lots of brief periods of time apart. Time apart sucks no matter the circumstances. This summer, after my husband and I were apart for a couple of months, I had a hard time adjusting to being back together. Don’t get me wrong; I was over the moon to be back together with him! But, I’m a schedule person. I don’t do well with change. I had my routine set. I woke up, walked the dog, went to yoga, stopped by the juice bar, and then ran some errands. My routine was suddenly thrown into a tizzy as soon as my husband was back. I was used to sleeping in a bed all by myself. When my husband got home, I couldn’t sleep for a week. I had been eating extremely clean all summer, and then my husband was back requesting his favorite not-so-clean meals.
|Reunited after Months Apart|
For some reason, when my husband and I were back together, I also started noticing little quarks about him that I had either forgotten or never noticed before. Did he always make that annoying humming noise in the morning? Did he always hover in the kitchen while I made dinner? Did he always leave his stuff all over the house? I felt like I was adjusting to living with a male all over again.
So how do we cope with reintegration??
Here are a few simple ideas:
-Stick to your routine as much as possible! If you change every thing up at once, you will most likely feel out of sync.
-Do your own thing. If you spend every waking moment with your spouse who has just returned, which is so tempting, you may get sick of each other fast. Do your own thing for at least an hour each day so you appreciate your time together.
-Don’t sweat the small stuff. If little things are bugging you, just drop it. Like that dish he left in the sink or dirty laundry he left on the floor, not worth the fight. You will feel less overwhelmed if you just let things go.
-Communicate. Tell your spouse how you feel. If you are overwhelmed or out of sorts, let them know. They love you and won’t be offended if you tell them they threw off your mojo.
-Be understanding. They are probably having a hard time adjusting as well, especially if they are back from a deployment.
-Date your spouse. Go an REAL dates. Do nice things for each other. Get to know each other again. Remind yourself why you fell in love.
|Learning to Date Again|
Reintegration is not easy! You expect nothing but happiness and joy when you are reunited, but sometimes are met by other emotions. I hope these tips help you in your adjustment period.
Thanks for reading! Come by Bell Bliss and say hi sometime!