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Thursday, January 30, 2014

What To Do When There's Distance

Earlier this month, I joined in with Amberly and Sarah's study of the 5 Love Languages. 
Even though I haven't finished the book yet (how horrible am I, right), the hubs and I did take the 
quiz--you can see both of our results here.

the Five Love Languages & the Military Marriage

It's absolutely no secret that being married to a military man is tough. Every day when I click through my bloglovin feed, my heart aches for my military 'sisters' who are separated from their soldiers for weeks and months at a time--races are run, babies are born, milestones are made all without that one special person who makes life complete. The other day, I talked to y'all about the five love languages and how knowing your spouse's language can help your marriage. So, keeping all of that in mind, I have a question for all of my fellow military spouses out there--how do we as military couples keep our marriages healthy and strong even when we are separated? 


I was looking through one of my old journals the other day and I came across a page in it that was just a few sets of tally marks with the title 'home' at the top of the page. There were exactly 23 little tally marks and right beside them was an arrow and a huge six--I scratched my head for a minute, trying to figure out what all of my scribbles meant. Then it dawned on me. The tally marks stood for the twenty-three days my husband was home out of the first six months of our marriage--and Zach wasn't even deployed! 

I leafed through the rest of the journal pages and I realized just how many days of loneliness were documented in that little book. When I mentioned as much to the hubs, he added that during those first few months he felt we were really disconnected from each other because we never had enough time to just be together aka quality time and physical touch, both of our love languages. So what to do when the usual avenues of communicating our love for each other aren't open to us? 

Skype, Call, Skype, Write
Quality Time & Words of Affirmation

Technology is a wonderful thing, especially for those of us who find ourselves in long distance relationships more often than not. Of course, nothing beats being able to snuggle up to your spouse on the couch to watch a movie or going out on a dinner date, but just being able to see your spouse can really brighten your day. Make a Skype date with your hubs, get ready and dress up just like you would for a real date, and surprise them with your beautiful face. Eat dinner, talk, and enjoy each other's company! If Skype or phone calls aren't available to you, write letters. No, this isn't exactly spending time with your spouse, but writing little anecdotes about your day is almost as good as telling them! Don't forget to include a ton of hand drawn hearts and 'I love you's'!

A Stuffed You
Physical Touch

I think the hardest of all love languages to express when a couple is separated is physical touch--nothing can replace holding someone's hand or hugging. This is a big one for me when Zach's gone because my love language is primarily touch. So my husband gave me a stuffed animal. Yep you read that right--right before he went to basic training, Zach and I were walking through a store and found an adorable little stuffed puppy that I just fell in love with. He bought it and that little doggy was my buddy all through those long months. Even now when the hubs is gone for an extended period of time, Sgt Paws will sit on the couch with me and watch TV and some nights he even whimpers his way into the bed. Sounds weird right? Well, this is where a real puppy dog would come in handy but since that's not happening anytime soon for me, Sgt Paws will have to do!

Hire that neighbor kid!
Acts of Service

So, husbands, one of your wife's love languages is acts of service--you'll be gone, so what do you do? Hire someone on the sly to do the chore that your wife absolutely loathes! Ok, so it's probably not the best idea to hire the kid down the street to come into your house while your wife's gone to do the dishes, but there are plenty of other sweet things you could have someone do for her--mowing the lawn, taking the puppy for a walk once a week. She'll appreciate that you thought about her! 

Sending is Caring
Receiving Gifts

There is a reason why the Pinterest boards of military wives are filled to the brim with ideas for care packages. Sending care packages definitely shows you care no matter what your love language is! I love the idea of sending a deployed spouse a care package every month--it's such a wonderful thing for them to look forward to. And if your spouse does happen to have gifts as a love language make sure to send something special along with it--his favorite hunting & fishing magazine, a favorite baked good, etc.

What is your favorite way to express love to your spouse when one of you is long distance? Anything you would add to this list?



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Your comments warm my heart!! Leave one for me and I PROMISE to email you back (unless you're a no-reply blogger in which case please fix that)!!

Thursday, January 30, 2014

What To Do When There's Distance

Earlier this month, I joined in with Amberly and Sarah's study of the 5 Love Languages. 
Even though I haven't finished the book yet (how horrible am I, right), the hubs and I did take the 
quiz--you can see both of our results here.

the Five Love Languages & the Military Marriage

It's absolutely no secret that being married to a military man is tough. Every day when I click through my bloglovin feed, my heart aches for my military 'sisters' who are separated from their soldiers for weeks and months at a time--races are run, babies are born, milestones are made all without that one special person who makes life complete. The other day, I talked to y'all about the five love languages and how knowing your spouse's language can help your marriage. So, keeping all of that in mind, I have a question for all of my fellow military spouses out there--how do we as military couples keep our marriages healthy and strong even when we are separated? 


I was looking through one of my old journals the other day and I came across a page in it that was just a few sets of tally marks with the title 'home' at the top of the page. There were exactly 23 little tally marks and right beside them was an arrow and a huge six--I scratched my head for a minute, trying to figure out what all of my scribbles meant. Then it dawned on me. The tally marks stood for the twenty-three days my husband was home out of the first six months of our marriage--and Zach wasn't even deployed! 

I leafed through the rest of the journal pages and I realized just how many days of loneliness were documented in that little book. When I mentioned as much to the hubs, he added that during those first few months he felt we were really disconnected from each other because we never had enough time to just be together aka quality time and physical touch, both of our love languages. So what to do when the usual avenues of communicating our love for each other aren't open to us? 

Skype, Call, Skype, Write
Quality Time & Words of Affirmation

Technology is a wonderful thing, especially for those of us who find ourselves in long distance relationships more often than not. Of course, nothing beats being able to snuggle up to your spouse on the couch to watch a movie or going out on a dinner date, but just being able to see your spouse can really brighten your day. Make a Skype date with your hubs, get ready and dress up just like you would for a real date, and surprise them with your beautiful face. Eat dinner, talk, and enjoy each other's company! If Skype or phone calls aren't available to you, write letters. No, this isn't exactly spending time with your spouse, but writing little anecdotes about your day is almost as good as telling them! Don't forget to include a ton of hand drawn hearts and 'I love you's'!

A Stuffed You
Physical Touch

I think the hardest of all love languages to express when a couple is separated is physical touch--nothing can replace holding someone's hand or hugging. This is a big one for me when Zach's gone because my love language is primarily touch. So my husband gave me a stuffed animal. Yep you read that right--right before he went to basic training, Zach and I were walking through a store and found an adorable little stuffed puppy that I just fell in love with. He bought it and that little doggy was my buddy all through those long months. Even now when the hubs is gone for an extended period of time, Sgt Paws will sit on the couch with me and watch TV and some nights he even whimpers his way into the bed. Sounds weird right? Well, this is where a real puppy dog would come in handy but since that's not happening anytime soon for me, Sgt Paws will have to do!

Hire that neighbor kid!
Acts of Service

So, husbands, one of your wife's love languages is acts of service--you'll be gone, so what do you do? Hire someone on the sly to do the chore that your wife absolutely loathes! Ok, so it's probably not the best idea to hire the kid down the street to come into your house while your wife's gone to do the dishes, but there are plenty of other sweet things you could have someone do for her--mowing the lawn, taking the puppy for a walk once a week. She'll appreciate that you thought about her! 

Sending is Caring
Receiving Gifts

There is a reason why the Pinterest boards of military wives are filled to the brim with ideas for care packages. Sending care packages definitely shows you care no matter what your love language is! I love the idea of sending a deployed spouse a care package every month--it's such a wonderful thing for them to look forward to. And if your spouse does happen to have gifts as a love language make sure to send something special along with it--his favorite hunting & fishing magazine, a favorite baked good, etc.

What is your favorite way to express love to your spouse when one of you is long distance? Anything you would add to this list?



No comments:

Post a Comment

Your comments warm my heart!! Leave one for me and I PROMISE to email you back (unless you're a no-reply blogger in which case please fix that)!!